Today

I cracked. It's been building; over the last years, months, weeks, days. But I can't control it anymore, I just want to cry. I feel so confused. Every day I see more unimaginable terror happening around our world, but as I walk down the street, I'm surrounded with joy, with smiles, with kindness.

Today, like most days, I feel inspired by my neighbors and I also feel complete despair knowing that they are all unsafe, at no fault of their own. I want to smile with them and that joy now only brings tears to my eyes.

I feel helpless and useless. I have no words that can help or encourage you or me. I don't know of any actions I can perform to emit hope.

So, I'll cry. And I'll pray for better. And I'll wonder how we got to a point where our presidential candidates evoke anxiety and bring me no belief that we will improve as a nation and as people. And I'll be angry that I can walk and talk and dress and act the exact same way as my neighbors and know that I'm fine, and know that they are not.

And then I'll do my best to keep smiling, because I don't want anyone to live in fear. Even though, you are. For good reason. I will do my best to help my friends forget about the madness so that we can be happy, if only for a moment.

And if you can think of any way to make it better, I will do everything within my power to assist you.

I love all of you. You don't deserve this. Nobody deserves this.

Nadya GraceComment